The author recounts their recent experience with unemployment and a resurgence of depression. They share a similar episode from middle school, triggered by being reassigned to a different class, which led to crying spells and suicidal thoughts. Although they didn't seek professional help then, support from family allowed them to gradually recover.
The author believes depression is a lifelong condition, perhaps due to their underlying insecurity, and expresses gratitude to friends who have offered encouragement for them to find a job. However, self-doubt looms, stemming from fears about thriving in a new environment and managing interpersonal relationships.
Recently, they have withdrawn from social activities, feeling a slowdown in mental response, concentration issues, and general despair. Despite previous reluctance to use medication, they have started systematic treatment for the first time and hope to see improvement within two weeks.